


Stars Outside the Window

by nerdyholler (katznhund)



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 06:55:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10736472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katznhund/pseuds/nerdyholler
Summary: Finally alone in her cabin on the Tempest, the realities of Andromeda and being the pathfinder hit Ryder.





	Stars Outside the Window

You could sit in the backyard on Earth, look up and see stars. If you drove far enough out of the city, you’d see even more. They were other systems and galaxies, some home to their own life, others barren or unexplored. All distant in the sky.

The same was true on other planets. The stars may have moved, but they were still there. Tiny specks of light. A constant reminder of the vastness of the universe.

Now Ryder stood in her room on the Tempest and looked out into space. Not the idea of space as some far away thing in the sky, but real space. A crack in the glass and there would be nothing between her and death in the vacuum. It was right there. Inches away.

Most ships had only a few windows, mainly in the cockpit, sometimes one or two on the hull. It was easy to forget what was on the other side. The darkness would become like a shifting picture, easy to ignore, the reality not registering with the mind. But there was no escaping or ignoring it here. 

A shiver went down Ryder’s spine and she hugged herself tighter. Pathfinder. They wanted her to find her way in all that. The thought of new planets should have filled her with excitement. Now there were just knots in the pit of her stomach. 

The floor was starting to sway even though she knew the ship was steady. Ryder slowly sank down and put her head in her hands. If her stomach turned one more time she might be sick. 

Everything since she woke up had happened so fast. It was only now, finally alone, with hours until they reached Eos, that things were starting to sink in. 

“Explorers wanted,” the Initiative said. As though each person would be part of their own little expedition. Now it was just “explorer”, only one, only her. It was possible one of those points of light held their fate and if it it was out there, she had to find it. 

She took a deep breath, holding it in before slowly exhaling. Part of her wanted to scream. There was no sound in space and if she could stick her head out there and yell, no one would hear. No one would know how scared she was. Did Shackleton or Lewis and Clark feel like this? Did Dad?

Would he have looked out that wall of glass and wondered if they were going to make it? Would he have had a plan? Or would he have seen possibilities and problems to solve? Would he have thought back on the years of training and experience that she didn’t have to come up with a way to survive?

“Ryder?”

It was SAM. Was his voice in her head or in the room? It was hard to tell right now. “Yeah,” she mumbled into her palms.

“Are you feeling alright?” The inflection of caring was oddly comforting.

“Not really.”

“Might I recommend some rest? A lot has occurred recently and sleeping will help your body recover.”

It wasn’t her body she was worried about at the moment but sleep would help there too. “Alright, SAM.”

Ryder crawled into bed and pulled the covers close around her body. She tried to relax, fall asleep, but every time she opened her eyes the stars were still there. She was too aware of their unwavering presence.

“SAM, can you close the window?” Hmm, that wasn’t quite the right phrase. Shutter? Darken? Make the unknown disappear? “It’s bright,” she added, which was also true.

“Of course, Ryder.”

In a few seconds the glass on the windows clouded over and finally turned black. The monitors in the room gave off a dim light but otherwise it was dark. If she closed her eyes and pretended, she could be anywhere; back home on Earth, out on one of the digs, even at a nice hotel on shore leave. She could be anywhere but Andromeda, alone and afraid in a strange new place.


End file.
